I Work at Honeybaked Ham

...except not. I work at Tin Star. After two whole nights of not remembering my dreams I was starting to get disappointed that I wasn't going to have anything to blog about, but Murphy's Law states that as soon as I start a dream blog I stop remembering my dreams, but we'll see how far we get. Last night I actually had a dream that I remembered a good portion of and without fail Prime Minister made an appearance, as well as his dad, sister, and yes, even his evil twin...

Keep in mind that in this dream for the sake of time, PMD means Prime Minister's dad and PMS (lol, unintentional) means Prime Minister's sister.

I Work at Honeybaked Ham...Sort of...

I start of this dream walking into a Honeybaked Ham, (that's near my somewhat near my house, so it's an actual existing location, unlike the Costco airport) and ask about a job offer. Except somehow I've already been hired because I'm wearing a black apron with the Honeybaked Ham logo on it. I start talking to them about how I already have a job.

"How long are your shifts at Tin Star?"

"About 3 or 4 hours."

"Well that's going to be a problem because all of our shifts are at least 8 hours long."

I am disappointed...but I press on. There's a girl behind the counter counting her tips which is a huge wad of cash, like she's a drug lord. She gives me a dirty look for looking at her fat stack of moolah and I go sit on a black stool in the corner for lack of anything better to do.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand in comes Prime Minister's dad and sister, and their play wrestling, pushing each other around and being goofy, (which is out of character for the dad as far as I know). As soon as PMD sees me he stops dead in his tracks and says, "What are you doing here?" I respond ever so cleverly with, "I guess I'm just everywhere you go." Because I'm not a creeper or anything...apparently my mind has created a past for this dream where I've been running into PMD everywhere I go, including the movies. (Don't ask me why that's the one I remember.)

In comes Prime Minister and PMD smashes PMS' (lol) head on the counter. PM is holding up his shirt in the back because he's recently gotten a tattoo that he doesn't want to ruin. It looked a lot like this...

...but less stupid.

He doesn't notice me until he turns around and sees my face looking at his ugly tattoo, and he says, "I guess this isn't conducive to my religion," and then he walks out. This is when real Prime Minister walks in, he looks totally normal in just jeans in a t-shirt. I keep thinking about evil Prime Minister's tattoo, then I remember that his tattoo isn't surprising because he also has a tramp stamp and a matching black flame tattoo on his chest...sort of like a t-shirt design with the larger design on the back and the little logo design on the left shoulder...which he doesn't in real life.

So I'm bored sitting on my stool and I start scooting around the floor on the stool until I run into Prime Minister and I'm so afraid that the managers of Honeybaked Ham are going to mad at me, that I stop and sit in the corner while, PM and PMD talk for a while. Then they leave and I wake up...they didn't even buy a ham...what jerks.

My Interpretation

- The fact that I got a second job in my dream, I'm sure came from the fact that my dad told me that another place that I had been interested in working in called and said they had an available position and I said, "...I already have a job."

- This could also be from that fact that all of the cooks at work continually ask me whether or not I work two jobs...even though I always tell them that I only work one. Why I worked at Honeybaked Ham, I'll never know.

- The shift length came from a conversation that my step mom had with one of the ladies working at IHOP yesterday when she said that because it was National Free Pancake Day everyone had to work 10 hour shifts.

- Also as a note, this is the first time I've ever dreamed about another member of PM's family. Normally it's only him. The rest of his family being in the dream was just an anomaly. (There was also a part of this dream where his mom appeared but I really don't remember where or what she did, all I remember is that she had really big hair, which she does not in real life. And that most definitely came from watching "The Most Toys", an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation and thinking, "Oh my gosh, her hair is huge.")

Let's face it, this lady's hair could eat Big Foot. As far as this picture, I found TWO pictures of the lady I was talking about with the huge hair...it was either this or a picture of her dying. I obviously chose this one cause her face is hilarious...and I love Data and I think I needed an excuse to put him in my blog...

Welcome and The Costco Engagement

Hi and welcome to my dream blog, here you'll see all kinds of insanity that goes on in my dream world. We all dream and not all of us remember them, but for some reason I more often than not do. I'm going to make an effort here to give you all the detail I can in my crazy dreams. While some of it will remain a little vague because we all know how strange dreams can be, I'll do my best. And I do know that there are people who will think I'm making these up, but trust me, no one has this much creativity when they're awake. Disbelieve all you like, I've no way to convince you until someone invents a dream catching machine, until then, just take my word for it. These are all 100% bona fide dreams that swirl around during my beauty sleep and crack up my family the next day. Anyway to start you all off, I'll give you "one from the vaults". Kudos if you catch my random movie or TV references. It's the middle of the day and I remember only a fraction of the dream I had last night so you get a dream that I had a couple of weeks ago. As far as the people who appear in my dreams, I'll do my best to give you a picture, if not a description of who they are, their relationship to me, and any inconsistencies between their dream character versus their actual character in real life. Also, if I mention you in one of my dreams and I say that you got hit by a car, or you were being a jerk, or a married you, please don't think that these are my real intentions or thoughts of you. The only way you should be offended is if all you did was stand there...you weren't very exciting. So without further ado, I give you...

The Costco Engagement

So this dream begins with me in my house, in one of the downstairs bathrooms putting on make up for my wedding. I'm 18, so that's a little unlikely, not to mention the guy I'm supposed to marry is a guy from my church whom is already married in real life and whom I kind of grew up with, except that he's something like 6 years older than me...I'd wager. His name is John. Anyway, I'm in the bathroom putting on make up with my step-sister Cicely...

...pictured here smelling my award-winning chili. As I'm putting on my make up my main concern is that I want my lips to be sparkly and I'm also to trying to make my eyes smoky, so I've got a stack of colored sparkles sitting next to me and I look down at them and when I look back up all my make up is gone, and no matter how much I put on it all disappears.

Meanwhile everyone who's coming to the party is getting mad at me for taking so long and they're all sitting in a suburban in the driveway, which is not geographically correct in terms of my house versus my dream. The garage/driveway is right off of the bathroom in my dream, in real life it's all the way across the family room and kitchen. I'm hyperventilating because I want to look perfect but people are getting mad at me, so I finally go outside with Cicely and get in the crowded suburban full of people who for whatever reason have now decided to go to Costco. What a bargain. I get in the car but now John is in the driveway (which is not my driveway, it is my friend Rachel's driveway...at the house she hasn't lived in for five years) doing something with a gardening hose, watering plants or something, I'm not sure.

So we leave and get to Costco and John won't talk to me, he's really mad because I took too long to put on my make up, but I'm talking mad like he's acting like I beat up his mother or favorite sister or something. He tells me to push the cart and I decide that I'll do something that will make it impossible for him to be mad at me anymore...I'll push the very hard to control shopping cart so deftly around the aisles that he'll be awed by my skills and love me again.

As I'm getting so absorbed in my task we go to the meat section of Costco which is across the store from the airport...because there's an airport in Costco. I walk up to the meat counter and see a woman by the airport and my thoughts are, "This is my chance to redeem myself, this is how I'll make him love me again," and I get (by the way my make up is on again), I get into sumo wrestling position and I attack this woman in a classic sumo wrestling fight. I win and bash her head into the ground and scream like some crazy primal warrior.

And that's it, I wake up. An abrupt ending for a crazy dream.

My Interpretation

As far as this dream goes I have no idea where any of this came from, it was all completely random as far as I can tell.

Now that you've got some kind of idea how my strange dreams move forward you'll be prepared for the some of the weirder things that happen in the future.

Also, if you're interested, all I can remember from my dream last night was that Prime Minister had a dog with him. It was a small Corgi. I don't know about dogs but I know that he's allergic to cats.

And because I know you care, this is the face it was making.